All about me

I’m going to write here more. I find it therapeutic. To say what I want to say and know that no one I know reads it. I have the flu. Well kinda have the flu. I’ve a snotty nose and a headache and I don’t feel myself at all at all.  Apparently when you’re upset your immune system gets fucked up and so it’s easier to get sicker. I’d believe it. I look and feel like shit for weeks now. My once mostly clear skin is now covered in awful red blotches and spots and I am constantly going to the toilet to clear out my inside. Most of the food I eat won’t stay down because my emotions can’t stay up. It’s all very frustrating really.

Concentrating on myself is hard work. I don’t really know how to do it to be honest. I always put other people before me. Okay not always but on more occasions than I put myself first. I think we should put others first sometimes. We all need each other and some day I will need someone to put me first and so around and around the circle goes. Is that wrong? I can’t see anything wrong with it. Of course I get myself into situations that get me hurt a lot and I don’t know how to get out of them because whatever way I am feeling, I am still looking out for the other person even if they created all the hassle. I seem to suffer from too much empathy.

Which of course would be a great help in Somalia or Ethiopia if I was over there working hard to change their lives but instead I am here feeling sorry for myself and worrying about him.