I came home last night with my headphones on and the music blasting in my ears, I dumped my bag, laptop and coat on the floor and saw my housemates face pop out his bedroom door, he was sitting on the fllor looking up at me. I didn’t smile, I didn’t wave, I didn’t even acknowledge him, I just went straight to my room. I climbed into my bed, put the covers over my head and cried, I muffled the sound with a scarf, some pillows and hoped that the music he has on would drown out the sound anyway.
This happens sometimes, the crying. I wasn’t particularally sad about anything, life is life, it has ups and downs but sometimes the crying starts and I never know when it will stop. Of course, I didn’t really mention this to my housemate before moving in with him. I eventually managed to drag myself out of bed and go into him, I sat next to him while he talked about the mundane. Distracted chat really, the tears kept flowing but I kept conversation going.
By the time our other housemate had gotten home, I had calmed down but as soon I caught his gaze, my eyes welled up again. The three of us huddled in one triangular shaped room talked about music and books and did everything to not talk about the fact I had not stopped crying in over an hour.
Being upset is hard work, it can make girl hungry so I made some dinner and showered, I hadn’t even closed the door before I was bawling again, the boys knocked to make sure I was alright. I wanted to hide, go somewhere nowhere could hear me and cry properly. Long empty sobs, but you have to put on a brave face for people don’t you.
I went to bed for a while with one of them, just too talk, he rubbed my back, ran his fingers through my hair and made me think of Thailand and other such adventures. When he got sleepy, I returned to the living room, to a patiently waiting housemate. I lay down on the couch and when he had finished tidying away the table he came and sat in front of me, put his arm around me and said I hate to see you so sad. This made me more sad and I couldn’t figure out why.
We sat and talked until all hours of the morning, he listened to me talking about places and people, stories from when I was a kid and new about what had happened that day. He laughed when I asked too many questions and he said all the right things at the right time. I hugged him goodnight and went to bed, closed my eyes and go to sleep and my phone beeped. “You have made a friend for life” it read, and it was from my housemate, who is quickly going up my scale of favourite people to be around.
